I just have a lot to say.
March 6th, 2014 by

“I Don’t Want to Listen to Johnny Cash Today, Daddy” (and Other Country Music Songs Beggin’ To Be Written)

They each have 3 stanzas, like all good country songs.

“The Prom Dress in Pictures”

the prom dress 1

A Night in Fantasyland, Northview High School, 1983

the prom dress 2

Dress Up Finery, Conner Playroom, 2005

the prom dress 3

Pageant Set Decoration, Northview High School, 2012

“Mama, Don’t Be Funny (You’re Driving Me Nuts)”

“She Doesn’t Look Like She’s Wearing Clothes (She Looks Like She’s Been Bedazzled)”

“It’s Just Like Ozark (Just a Little Farther Away)”

“Santa Claus Ain’t Coming (If You Don’t Clean Up Your Room)”

“He Was an Outcast among the Rejects (In the Shade of the Penske Truck)”

“I’m So Excited about Sleeping Late (I’m Going to Bed Early Toni-ight)”

“It’s Laundry Day and My Kitchen’s a Mess (Play Me a Sad Country Tune)”

“Man, I’m Really Thirsty (Actually, I Just Want a Pop Tart)”

“Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend (‘Til You Find Out What They’re Worth and Cash ‘Em In)”

“Tide Hoopla Never Dies Down (It Just Ebbs and Flows)”

“When the Cute Wears Off (She Will Still Be Rich)”

“Mama, You’re Embarrassing Me (and There’s No One Even Around)”

“It’s Not Always about You, Rebecca Ramsey (Sometimes It’s about Me)”

“The Problem with Math Teachers (They’ve Never Had a Problem with Math)”

“You Better Not Make Eye Contact (He’ll Tell You Something to Do)”

“Hold On a Minute (Let Me Tweet My Blog)”

“It Would Be Hilarious (If It Wasn’t Happening to Me)”

“He’ll Have to Marry Before My Funeral (So He’ll Know What to Wear)”

“We Had to Write Down Our Strengths (So I Lied My Little Heart Out)”

“Hell Is Just a Waiting Room (and the Doctor Never Calls Your Name)”

“It Was Just a Little Salty (It Was Like Your Mama Made It for Me)”

I overheard every one of the titles in conversation, including the four I heard myself say. (Figure ’em out.) Simply because a girl talks a lot, doesn’t mean she is not listening as well. (And that sounds like a country song, too.)


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